Wednesday, June 25, 2008

July '07 - June '08

Friends are nature’s masterpiece.

Whoever said this got it right the first time. I certainly believe in this saying because in all my life, it is the gift of friendship that I value more than anything else. I smile as I think about the people who were with me last Saturday will react about this statement. Because it seems to me, that my actions are going on a different direction. If you were there with us, it will seem to you that I do not value my friends and all I do is blabber.

I can not deny that what I did to my friends happened to me, I will not be able to forget it myself. Makes you wonder what happened that day right? But I will spare you the details. Let’s just say that I burned all the masterpiece nature has given me.

One of my dearest friends talked to me last Monday about what I “did” during that fateful day. It was horrible, unspeakable, and undeniably offensive. And as much as I tried to explain my side, I can’t seem to do so. For I know, no words I can utter can heal the wounds that I have caused.

The same close friend shared with me about what I was blabbing about on that day. I was all about friendship. It didn’t surprise me since I know for a fact that I can’t stop thinking about how happy I am that I have my friends. But what I realized just now, is how much right to the point my friend was. You see, I always prided myself as someone who puts their friends first before anything else. May it be work or even myself. But it seems that that’s hardly the case because I have always placed my fears above everyone and anything else. My biggest fear is losing a friend. And in my efforts to make sure that my fears will not come to life, I try my very best to please them. But instead of getting the result I desired, I ended up on the losing end.

As I write this post, I still haven’t spoken to two of my friends. Both of whom I cherish as someone who defines what being a friend is. And both of whom I offended the worst. Honestly speaking, I don’t think that I can show my face to them, let alone talk to them. And it is one of the reasons why I am writing this post. I am hoping that one, if not both, of them will be able to read this.

Trust is one of the most essential things in a relationship. And once the trust is gone, the relationship, for me, no longer exists. What happened that night is something I will regret for the rest of my life. Because I may very well lose the people I hold dear. The very people I tried to please. The very people I call “friends”.

As I said earlier, I can’t still bring myself to talk to my friends. I’m afraid of what they are going to say. I know I have failed them as their friend. And I’m so sorry that I will lose them without even being able to know them deeper. Not that I think that our friendship is as shallow as a jigger of scotch, but because I didn’t know them enough for me to say that they know me. I showed them a fa├žade in fear that they will not like the real me. What a pathetic little wimp I am.

And on that sad note, the love room bids you farewell. I will not delete this blog for I hope that someone will be able to find wisdom on the mistakes I made in my life by reading my previous posts. I, however, will no longer be accessing this site.


I found my friends when I started my first blog.  Let it end with my last blog.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Love Song #10




I know you wanna leave me,
but I refuse to let you go
If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy,
I don't mind coz' you mean that much to me

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me, girl, don't you go

Now I heard a cryin' man,
is half a man with no sense of pride
But if I have to cry to keep you,
I don't mind weepin' if it'll keep you by my side

Ain't to proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go

If I have to sleep on your doorstep
all night and day just to keep you from walkin' away
let your friends laugh, even this I can stand
cause I want to keep you any way I can

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go

Now I've gotta love so deep in the pit of my heart
And each day it grows more and more
I'm not ashamed to come and plead to you baby
If pleadin' keeps you from walkin' out that door

Ain't too proud to beg, you know it sweet darlin'
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Baby, baby, baby, baby (sweet darling)

Monday, June 2, 2008

Love Song #9



Baby,
now that I've found you
I won't let you go
I built my world around you
I need you so,
baby even though
You don't need me
now

Baby,
now that I've found you
I won't let you go
I built my world around you
I need you so
Baby even though
You don't need me,
You don't need me oh, no

Baby, baby,
when first we met
I knew in this heart of mine

That you were someone I couldn't forget.
I said right,
and abide my time

Spent my life looking
for that somebody
to make me feel like new
Now you tell me that you want to leave me
But darling, I just can't let you