Wandering Thoughts

Staring in front of my screen for the last 7 hours doing nothing resulted to some thinking.


Fear

Just last week, I started walking a familiar path. A path to my own destruction. I said familiar because this is not the first time that it happened. First time it happened, it was my best friend who was the casualty. After that, every person I was closed to me got a piece of me. I ended leaving everything I have worked hard to create.

Now, after almost 10 years, it’s happening again. I broke a friend’s heart. Then, it was the code of silence. I’m afraid that if this continues, I will need to leave the world I began to love, forever.

I know some of you will react different after reading this one. Some will say that I should work things out with my friend. Others may even say that, as far as they know, everything has already been taken care of. But I know myself. Either I end up hurting more people, or I will hurt myself.

Grow Up!

Surprisingly, I can hear people saying that phrase as they read this post. And I have to agree with them. I should grow up. I’m so immature! Reckless and insensitive! Now I’m not saying this just to get you on my side. I don’t need that. I’m saying these because these are the facts. And they are undeniable.

Trust

One of the most important things in a relationship is trust. Personally, I don’t think there will be any relationship at all if there is no trust between the two individuals. Because for me, people in a relationship puts there life, money, feelings, and time in the hands of the person they are with. Will you rely on someone you don’t trust? So if you can’t trust the person you are with, you better break off the ties between you because without trust, the relationship is dead.

A quote from my favorite movie goes like this…

“… I’m the best because I work with the best. If you don’t trust the person you work with, you’re as good as dead.”

Harry Stumper
Armageddon, 1999

Relate! Relate!

Many of you who have witnessed my rollercoaster relationship with my Bebhe can attest that too many times I have pushed my Bebhe’s trust to the limit. But My Bebhe’s still here. That is one of the main reason why were still together! We love each other so much that we trust each other no matter what. If one stumbles, the other is there to lift him up. And even if it hurts so much, so much that you feel you can’t trust anyone anymore, my Bebhe just closes his eyes and extend his hand to me. Helping me and trusting me all the more. Honestly, I don’t know what I did to deserve such a wonderful and loving person such as my Bebhe. And now, at my lowest point, know one thing; I trust my life, my entire being, to the love of my life. My Bebhe.