Tradition No More

This will be the second Christmas since we’ve been together. Although we are yet to celebrate it together, we are still happy for each other since we will be spending time with each of our own family. But this post is not about Christmas. It’s still too early for that. This post is about something before that.

I used to have a tradition that I practiced for 15 years. I will spend time alone, either roaming the city or just locked up in my room for a certain day, thinking about the life I lived and to see what else I can do better. For 15 years I have done that without any regrets but something change last year. I met MB.

“We’ve been together for almost the entire day; spending every moment of it with joy like I have never felt before. And even though my heart dictates otherwise, I followed my mind and continued on with my tradition. At around 10 in the evening, I decided to leave while he is still sleeping.

I hailed the first cab that came to my sight and directed the driver to just drive. I don’t know where to go in particular but I just need the speed. I need to think. For my mind is against my heart and I don’t know how to react. I got off at Araneta Center and started to walk. Thinking. Then just like lightning, I decided to take another cab and went back to his place.

As I stand in front of his doors, my heart and my mind are still against each other. But I mastered myself and opened the doors. What I saw made my heart melt. There he was, sound asleep, smiling and so angelic. I took off my clothes and lay beside him. Sensing my warm body, he turned and hugged me tightly and whispered “Thank you.” Fighting tears, I hugged him back and said “No, thank you.”

From then on, I decided that 15 years of tradition is long enough. The following night, I told him the story about my tradition and the reason why I’m breaking it.

“I don’t need to be alone to think about what happened to me this year because I already know that this year, 2006...

You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

And now, a year has passed. And as i looked back to what I did last year, I feel no regret. Because for the first time in 15 years of my life, I spent my special day with the only person in the world I will spend it with.

I love you Bhe.