Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Q&A

How can you really make a relationship work? What do you need to do for your relationship to last?

These are just some of the questions I always hear from people that talk about relationships. I do not pretend to be some expert when it comes to relationships. I know for a fact that I am not for I came from a failed relationship before I found the person who saved me from drowning. I know that I made more mistakes than the next guy when it comes to making decisions while in a relationship. That I am a failure when it comes to the “ideal person” to be in a relationship with as set by society. But I know that some, not all, may benefit from my experiences and that's why I share them to people.

So how can someone make a relationship work? Simple. Just as the question mentioned, it is work. Now I can see people’s eyebrows raising after reading that statement. Well we all have different opinions. This is mine so back off :)

Now back to the topic. Contrary to what people believe, love is not enough for a relationship to last. Like it or not, time will come when emotions will be tested and love will fade. When that time comes, you must be ready to work your ass to make your relationship last. You must fight for it if needed. If you will only rely on your emotions to get you through the day, then you will always end up in the losing end. You must know when to use your emotions and when to use your mind. Both are needed for a long lasting relationship. Now this is just my thoughts and I’m just speaking out loud. I do not intend to give advice to anyone since I’m not the right person to do so. So when someone do come asking about what I think, I always tell them stories about my past instead of giving off advice. I just think its better that way.

So when a friend talks to me about his problems about his partner, I will explain to him what I did when I was in the same situation as he is and hope that he will be able to make his own move from there. For example, a friend told me his story about not talking to his long time boyfriend for almost a week just because he doesn’t want to be the first to make a move after a petty quarrel. I shared my experience with my ex that after not talking to each other, we just grew cold and got used to not speaking to each other. Like it is the normal thing to do. Another instance was when a friend came to me telling me he’s getting tired of being the “strongman” in the relationship. Of being the person who’s always there for his partner. I just told him about my experience with MB when I was on my lowest point. That I felt that the well is drying out because no water is coming in. But giving up is not an option for me. Because for me, I can’t picture myself without MB. I just can’t imagine waking up and not finding him by my side. Just the thought of it makes me cry. What more if it’s a reality that I brought to myself? Oh what misery I will be in!

And lastly, being in a relationship is not always fun and full of happiness. So those who are out there who are getting desperate that you are still single, don't try so hard to be in one. I'm telling you, you are not missing a lot. If you think you are prepared for something this hard, then you are not at all prepared. If you think you are mature, then you are very immature. Read this post. I can tell that this friend of mine knows what is needed for a relationship to work. I suggest that you click the link and read it. It’s definitely worth your time (Don’t forget to read the link he mentioned as well!).





"Admitting your mistake is the first sign of maturity" - Anon

11 comments:

davenport said...

naka block ang multiply dito eh.. thanks kups for dropping by sa blog ko..

-- --

i agree with the point you raised. love is not the only virtue that makes the world go 'round and 'round.. on smaller scale, we need to improve the way we communicate with people or partner.. not just demand this or expect this but improve the art of being sensible (not sensitive) sigh..

TL said...

Kups thanks sa comment!

Communication is the key for a succesful relationship. without it, it will definitely be a failure.

Mink: The Arabian Paladin said...

so love isnt enuf to make you stay?

sa palagay ko as time goes by love evolves and matures, yun kasi ang nangyari sa akin after 6 years. its on the books already and will never be erased, what should be done is to open another chapter, for me to move on, pero he will always be inside of me no matter what. yun nga lang friendship, pakibatukan ako ng malakas, kasi ayaw ko mang isipin parang nagpapahiwatig ng : may ikalwang aklat pa kaming dapat simulan...
parang teleserye na may book two...

hehehe, parang off topic yung kumento at sharing ko ah.

;)

red riding odin hood said...

hahaha when i entered into a relationship with my bf i didnt think i was "prepared" or "matured" enough haha basta sumugod na lang ako hahaha

TL said...

Friendship anubei! Stop me! Tigilan Ako! hahaha :) Off topic o hindi tsalamas sa komento!

Hhmmm book two huh? Eh kung kurutin ko kaya singit mo dyan hhmmmm??


Odin Thanks sa pagcomment. I was like you when I was young. Reckless and impulsive. But just charge it to experience and learn from your mistakes. It will help you grow :)

wanderingcommuter said...

"admitting your mistake is the first sign of maturity"

i must admit, i am guilty about this line. before kasi i always thought/believed that the reason i broke up with my ex is because of immaturity. now, i know, i was also immature on our relationship. tsktsk!

wonderful post

emoterang nurse said...

grabeh ayos itong post mo...
it makes me stop and think about my relationships in past...
i'l tell my friend about this link...

Mugen said...

As I always claim. Relationship endures because of a need. It's not love, companionship and commitment that really makes a relationship work. Sometimes, there must be something, a reason why it should continue to exist.

Mugen said...

Btw, Nobody has ever told me that he would pick me up once I passed out of a drinking session.

That's so sweet of you Kapatid.

Ikaw lang ang nagvolunteer sa akin nun. Hinding hindi ko yun kakalimutan. :)

Kris Canimo said...

bakit pag love post wala kong masabi?

TL said...

@wanderer thanks po. you're on the right track by admitting you are not mature as well :)

@emoterang nurse salamat salamat salamat! First time ko makatangap ng ganyang klaseng comment. Salamat po!

@Mugen Kapatid that's what friends are for. Para saan pa at tinawag kong Knight ang sarili ko kung hindi ko gagawin di ba? :) Cheers!

@Kris cguro, ito ay cguro lang ha, as in hula ko lang, ung bang hinuha, na malay mo, malay ko, na malay nating lahat, na wala ka talaga masabi pag love post. Di ba?