Working it Out

I don't pretend to be an expert when it comes to relationships. Everybody who knows me and those who I had relationships with can attest that I suck when it comes to being a better half. But why do I write about something I suck at? Well, I believe that my failures has taught me alot and I want to share it to everyone who wants to listen.

First off, I used to believe that relationships starts because of the the so called "spark". Back then, I will immediately turn down a person I just met because there is no "spark" when we had coffee. What the --?? Imagine the number of people I hurt because I won't give them a chance of proving themselves because of such a lame ass reasoning?? And how about those people that I had relationships with? I readily said "I love you" before even knowing the real persno behind the mask just because there was a "spark". I can go on and on but it will just get nasty. I have already made a post about this one so just go dig my archive about that one. This post is not about starting a relationship anyway. It's about maintaining it.

I just read from Jhed's latest post about a friend asking him how to tell his lover that he's no longer in love with him after 2 years of being together. I do not know what is happening between their relationship so I will not and can not comment about it. But what I do know is this. People stay together not because of love. People stay together because of faith. Yes you were both inlove in the early part of your relationship. I don't deny that. But after 3 or so months, that love changes. It matures. Let me rephrase. It Must Mature! We grow old, so must our love for each other. But what happens when you feel that you are "no longer" inlove with you mate? Do you just say, "Hey Sorry I don't love you anymore. Thanks for the 2 years!". People believe you me when I say that it happens! We may be bored of being with our mate or seeing them or talking to them everyday. But that doesn't mean you don't love him/her anymore! You just need to try different things. Or even try a different approach. Suprise each other every now and then. And don't fling around the phrase "I love you" every so often. Let your partner crave for it. It helps. Trust me. I know.

I can go on and on about this post but it's getting late and I need to be with my Bebhe instead of infront of my monitor. So here's the juice about this one. Don't say "I don't love him anymore". Reality check, you don't love him the first time you were together. If it's a spark, then it's just lust. If there were no spark and love blossoms during the course of time, then it might be love. Don't you want to make sure every possibility is exhausted first before giving up? I know I would.

"Work begins where love ends" - Anon