Good Thing I'm Not Popoy

On our ride going to home, I tried to bond with a couple of MB’s friends. Luckily, I was able to make them like. And since it’s still early, when we got off at Galleria, I asked MB if it’s ok to watch a movie. Tired as he is, he didn’t object. So we trudged on to the cinema in silence. When we reached the cinema, I asked MB again if it’s ok. He just smiled at me as if trying to assure me that there is nothing more that we wants to do but to watch a movie with me. And eyes welled up and I fought back the tears. Oh how much I love MB!

During the movie, I can’t help but snuggle up with MB. But I guess he is so tired that he was not able to respond the way he would normally do. So, thinking that the best thing that I could do is to let him rest, I shifted to the other side of my seat as to distance myself from him so that he could sleep. So during the entire movie, I acted as if I was watching it alone while stealing some glances to the person I love most in the world.

The movie was good. It made me realize a lot of things and cleared up some thoughts that have been disturbing me for quite sometime now. Here are some of them:


1. Never say how fast a quickie can be if you don’t want to start an argument.

2. Don’t use shampoo for suicide attempts. It will not work.
3. Close your eyes when breaking up with someone if you don’t want to be hit.
4. Don’t kiss a singer, it will make you puke.
5. Not everything can be fixed by make-up-sex.

Seriously though, during the movie, I asked myself what I will do it I will be in Popoy’s shoes. Would I leave the person who were there during the worst time of my life and help me start over just to be with the person I love? No matter how I would like to put it, there is only one answer that my futile, stubborn, rush, and irrational mind. Yes I will. I mean, there is no point at all in being in a relationship with someone if the only reason you are with that person is because you owe him/her. And even though you have grown to love that person, you are just kidding yourself. You know who your heart is aching for. You know who you will be happy with.

I know some of you will say that they will be willing to curtail that longing and bear that heartache because they don’t want to be hurt again. They don’t want to take that step into the unknown once more. They would rather stay with the one they are certain that will not make them cry. I just remember a dialogue in one of the films I like.

“He doesn’t make me cry”

Tess answered to Danny Ocean when Danny asked her if Terry Benedict makes her laugh.

If you don’t take risks, you will live your life asking yourself “What if?” Now ask yourself, do you want that? I know I don't.

Sevens Tag From Henry

I’ve been tagged by Henry about my sevens. Sorry bro for not being able to finish this tag soon.

Here are the rules:

1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.

2. Pick 7 others you would like to get to know better.
3. Let them know you’ve tagged them by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. And don’t forget to give them the rules.

Seven truths about me that you might not have known yet:

1. I used to be an activist and had spent a day in prison about it.
2. I am currently a Recruitment Coordinator.
3. I am an education graduate but not yet licensed.
4. I used to be Dark Knight of thedarkknightcometh.blogspot.com.
5. I am second cousin to singer Christian Bautista.
6. I am a Jed Madela fan.
7. I am a hopeless romantic.

7x7 (which by the way is much harder):

1. I believe that 7 is the most powerful number.
2. I have been in 7 serious relationships (including the one now).
3. I only own 7 things in our apartment.
4. I slack for 7 hours and work for 2 hours in the office.
5. 7 is one of my favorite numbers.
6. This is my 7th try in blogging.
7. I masturbate at least 7 times a week.


I would like to tag people that I want to know more. Those people who we came across as the mysterious type. So I tag Macoy, Engz, Barbara, Davenport, and Shamasu.

Wedding Daze

As most people know, I was wondering what will be the second step in my relationship with MB. I got my answer last Saturday. We were invited to attend a mutual friend’s wedding in Manila Cathedral. This will be the first time that we will be going to an event as a couple. And it scared me to death. I don’t know how should we act or how we should talk when people are expecting us to be sweet. As in PDA sweet! I mean, PDA is not a problem with me, but I know how uncomfortable MB will be when I start to hold his hands in public even if it's just in front of our friends. Thus, the dilemma.

We arrived at the church 2 hours late because of waking up late and the Christmas rush. But nevertheless, the wedding, being conducted here in the Philippines, haven’t started yet. The reason: The wedding before our friend’s went overtime for some unknown reasons. For all I care, we were not late. We took our seats and the ceremony started. But not before my tummy started to complain that the last food I ate was almost 24 hours ago. So I started fidgeting and grab my phone to send messages to some of my friends just so I can take my mind off my grumbling stomach. This went on even after the mass started. So being the serious type, MB grabbed my attention and told me off for using my phone during a mass. I got crossed so I shut up. Ever the sensitive partner, MB saw the change in my aura and apologized for telling me off. So I told him that the real problem was my tummy. He smiled. And my hunger faded, momentarily of course.

I always fantasized of proposing to my love one when someone else was getting married. And as the groom will give the ring to his bride, I will then take my love one’s hand and give him the ring that will symbolize my eternal love for him. Unfortunately, I don’t have a ring last Saturday, so the dream will have to wait for yet another wedding. For now, I contented myself with holding MB’s hand and mimicking the vows that the bride and the groom were exchanging. I felt MB’s hand squeezing mine. I squeezed back and used my free hand to doodle the words “I Love You” on his thigh. He smiled. I smiled back. And for a moment, we were in our own world. Loving one another.

We were forced back to reality when my tummy grumbled a little louder than expected. We both smiled and wished that the priest will finish the mass and the ceremony soon. But as much as I wanted for the ceremony to be over so that I can eat, I’m afraid of what’s going to happen at the reception. People would be expecting to see a sweet couple. I can always grab his hands or even lean on his shoulders. It will be ok with me but I don’t know about MB. So, I leaned over to MB and whispered to him my concerns. He smiled at me and squeezed my hands tight. As if to assure me that everything is going to be ok.

All in all the wedding was great. Everything went according to their plan. And I’m very happy for our friend. She married the love of her life. I just hope he did.

“Love is the food of the soul” - Anon

Wandering Thoughts Again...

Another lazy day at the office so I found myself in reverie yet again.

Next Step

We've been together for the past 13 months with the last 11 months of it leaving together. I can't say that we have gone through everything just yet but I can definitely say that we got to know each other more. We have grown together. And with that, our love for each other. Now, staring at my monitor, I wonder, what will be the next step to our relationship. What will be the next hurdle that will come our way that will help us grow more. I wonder, what's next?

Moving On

I met a guy just a couple of days ago who endlessly talked about his ex. Yup! His ex! They've been together for not more than 5 months but he is so sure that his ex is the love of his life! It made me remember the days when I haven't gotten over my ex. When I used to wake up everyday reminiscing every happy moments we had together. Reminding myself day after day, that I love him. That there is no one else for me. Then, I met my Bebhe. Boy was I wrong! My ex was not the love of my life! It's my Bebhe! I was so sucked up into the "relationship" concept that I filled the vacuum in my heart with our happy memories. But that's just that. Memories. No more, no less. But thanks to my Bebhe who woke me up from the illusion I was having and showed me true happiness. I love you Bhe!

Taking Risk

What I like about being young is the fact that they can recover if they failed on the endevours they take. Why not? They have Time on their side. This is the same reasoning that I heard from a lot of people when it comes to getting in a relationship. They are afraid to take anymore risks because they think that they might not be able to recover anymore from hurt. But I believe that the moment you stop taking risks is the moment that you die. Without risks, you will just fall in a monotonous kind of life. Dull and boring. Remember, if I never took the risk of being hurt and rejected, I would have not found the missing piece of my heart!

A quote from my favorite movie character when he was confronted by his troop about not being able to beat the enemy's army.

"No, we can not. But we will meet them in battle none the less."

King Theoden

Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King

Wandering Thoughts

Staring in front of my screen for the last 7 hours doing nothing resulted to some thinking.


Fear

Just last week, I started walking a familiar path. A path to my own destruction. I said familiar because this is not the first time that it happened. First time it happened, it was my best friend who was the casualty. After that, every person I was closed to me got a piece of me. I ended leaving everything I have worked hard to create.

Now, after almost 10 years, it’s happening again. I broke a friend’s heart. Then, it was the code of silence. I’m afraid that if this continues, I will need to leave the world I began to love, forever.

I know some of you will react different after reading this one. Some will say that I should work things out with my friend. Others may even say that, as far as they know, everything has already been taken care of. But I know myself. Either I end up hurting more people, or I will hurt myself.

Grow Up!

Surprisingly, I can hear people saying that phrase as they read this post. And I have to agree with them. I should grow up. I’m so immature! Reckless and insensitive! Now I’m not saying this just to get you on my side. I don’t need that. I’m saying these because these are the facts. And they are undeniable.

Trust

One of the most important things in a relationship is trust. Personally, I don’t think there will be any relationship at all if there is no trust between the two individuals. Because for me, people in a relationship puts there life, money, feelings, and time in the hands of the person they are with. Will you rely on someone you don’t trust? So if you can’t trust the person you are with, you better break off the ties between you because without trust, the relationship is dead.

A quote from my favorite movie goes like this…

“… I’m the best because I work with the best. If you don’t trust the person you work with, you’re as good as dead.”

Harry Stumper
Armageddon, 1999

Relate! Relate!

Many of you who have witnessed my rollercoaster relationship with my Bebhe can attest that too many times I have pushed my Bebhe’s trust to the limit. But My Bebhe’s still here. That is one of the main reason why were still together! We love each other so much that we trust each other no matter what. If one stumbles, the other is there to lift him up. And even if it hurts so much, so much that you feel you can’t trust anyone anymore, my Bebhe just closes his eyes and extend his hand to me. Helping me and trusting me all the more. Honestly, I don’t know what I did to deserve such a wonderful and loving person such as my Bebhe. And now, at my lowest point, know one thing; I trust my life, my entire being, to the love of my life. My Bebhe.

Love Notes #5

Bebhe,

Nalulungkot talaga ako at hindi ka nakasama nung nagkita kita kami nila Mike, Jay, Marlon, Reynaldo, Carlos, Mark, at Dave. Napakasaya nilang kasama. Lalo na si Mike! Hahaha hangang ngayon natatawa ako tuwing maalala ko kung papano niya pinatahimik si Marvin Agustin ng sabihin nyang "Ang gwapo mo naman". Sabi ko sayo Bhe, parang dumaan ako ng ilang beses sa sobrang tahimik namin. Parang nagiintay ng reaksyon ng bawat isa sa narinig namin. Nung nagsalita na lang ulit si Marvin, dun na lang kami ulit nakahinga ng maluwag. Kung may dala lang akong camera nun nakodakan ko sana ung nangyari hahaha. I'm sure matutuwa ka.

Hhhmmm... Since wala akong picture nila, describe ko na lang sila sayo. Dahil nakwento ko na dati si Carlos at Jay, unahin ko na si Mike. Alam mo bang higit pa siya sa inaasahan ko? Hindi ito ang unang pagkikita namin pero nung una ko siyang nakita, akala ko talaga artista! Makinis at maputi! In short flawless! Tapos akala mo minsan lumilipad ang isip yun pala eh inoobserbahan nya lang pala kami. Nakakatacute! Pero infairness Bhe, ang sarap kausap nyang si Mike! Ang daming alam! Microbiologist ba naman eh!

Pangalawa, si Mark. Siya ang pinakamayaman na blogger na nakilala ko! Grabe! Unico iho ba naman eh. Haciendero ata ang loko! Hahaha! At hindi lang yun ha, kung saan saan yan nakapunta! Nakakaingit! Minsan nga pagbinabasa ko yung blog nya at nakikita ko ung mga pictures, parang nalibot ko na ang buong Pilipinas! Ang galing! Pero dahil hindi kami gaano nakapagbonding, sa susunod ko na lang siya ikukwento sayo.

Pangatlo si Marlon. Kabatabata pa eh ang cute cute na! Tapos ang tahitahimik! Hindi makabasag pingan. Kung hindi ko pa kikibuin eh hindi rin kami kakausapin. Nakakatacute din!

Pangapat ay si Reynaldo o Rey for short. First time ko siyang nakita at nakilala nung araw na yun. At talaga namang para akong nastarstruck! Kilala siya ni Marvin Agustin! Hahaha! Nakakatuwa! Tapos game na game siya sa usapan. Kahit ano. Ang masasai ko lang, magaling siya makisama. At sigurado akong hindi nagkamali ang kaibigan namin ng maging sila!

Panglima ay si Dave. Ang pangalawa sa pinakapogi sa aming lahat! (Pangalawa lang kasi ako yung una! harharhar) Pero kupal talaga siya eh. Hehehe hindi mo ba napansin nung kasama natin siya sa EK eh ang kulit kulit? Hahaha.

Ayan, nadescribe ko na sila sayo. At ang haba na ng post na ito! Hahaha yung lunch namin eh ok kaso medyo bitin kasi inubos ng mga kasama ko ung pagkain. Pero kahit bitin sa pagkain, busog na busog kami sa kwentuhan. Parang hindi kami mauubusan ng gustong sabihin sa bawat isa. at sa tuwing nangangailan ng pahinga, dadaan lang ako para tumahimik ng konti hehehe.

Sana sa susunod po makasama ka na. Namiss kita at namiss ka ng mga kaibigan ko na kaibigan na din ang turing sayo.


I love you.

TL

Working it Out

I don't pretend to be an expert when it comes to relationships. Everybody who knows me and those who I had relationships with can attest that I suck when it comes to being a better half. But why do I write about something I suck at? Well, I believe that my failures has taught me alot and I want to share it to everyone who wants to listen.

First off, I used to believe that relationships starts because of the the so called "spark". Back then, I will immediately turn down a person I just met because there is no "spark" when we had coffee. What the --?? Imagine the number of people I hurt because I won't give them a chance of proving themselves because of such a lame ass reasoning?? And how about those people that I had relationships with? I readily said "I love you" before even knowing the real persno behind the mask just because there was a "spark". I can go on and on but it will just get nasty. I have already made a post about this one so just go dig my archive about that one. This post is not about starting a relationship anyway. It's about maintaining it.

I just read from Jhed's latest post about a friend asking him how to tell his lover that he's no longer in love with him after 2 years of being together. I do not know what is happening between their relationship so I will not and can not comment about it. But what I do know is this. People stay together not because of love. People stay together because of faith. Yes you were both inlove in the early part of your relationship. I don't deny that. But after 3 or so months, that love changes. It matures. Let me rephrase. It Must Mature! We grow old, so must our love for each other. But what happens when you feel that you are "no longer" inlove with you mate? Do you just say, "Hey Sorry I don't love you anymore. Thanks for the 2 years!". People believe you me when I say that it happens! We may be bored of being with our mate or seeing them or talking to them everyday. But that doesn't mean you don't love him/her anymore! You just need to try different things. Or even try a different approach. Suprise each other every now and then. And don't fling around the phrase "I love you" every so often. Let your partner crave for it. It helps. Trust me. I know.

I can go on and on about this post but it's getting late and I need to be with my Bebhe instead of infront of my monitor. So here's the juice about this one. Don't say "I don't love him anymore". Reality check, you don't love him the first time you were together. If it's a spark, then it's just lust. If there were no spark and love blossoms during the course of time, then it might be love. Don't you want to make sure every possibility is exhausted first before giving up? I know I would.

"Work begins where love ends" - Anon

A very "Enchated" Day

I planned to go to Enchanted Kingdom with Mink last Sunday, November 4. Actually, it was Turismoboi's idea. Unfortunately, I had to cancel 2 days before our trip because my Bebhe, who went back to his hometown for the holidays will be coming home on that said day. Of course I will be spending that day with him instead. So Saturday came, the evening before the trip, I already confirmed to Mink that I will not be able to joinn when he informed me that for some reason, Turismoboi will not be able to join them. So it will be just him, Gripen, and Davenport. I just wished them good luck and decided to rest for the evening when I received a message from my Bebhe that he will be coming home that very night! I was ecstatic! I will be seeing my Bebhe after 4 days of being apart from each other! Oh how I miss him! I immediately started cleaning because the place was a mess! Yes I'm a slob. But before I was able to completely clean the apartment, my Bebhe arrived.

[insert kilig moments here]

After making sure that my Bebhe's well rested, I started to regale him of my unexciting holidays spent in the apartment playing "mosquitos" in my phone. And when the topic about EK was brought up, My Bebhe bolted upright and said that he wanted to go to EK. I then informed him that there is a possibility that we will be seeing my blogosphere pals there. And to my suprise, he said "It's OK". Whoaa!!! I didn't know what to do or to check his temperature. Because this is my Bebhe not caring about seeing my friends! Usually, he will be his anti-social self but today... I immediately grab the opportunity and made the plans to be in EK as early as possible!

.Sunday.

We woke up just before 10am and after eating breakfast, I hastily prepared everything so that we can leave for EK. Everything was just great! And we even get to see the remains of Glorietta 2 when we went to makati for our ride!

.EK.

When we arrived at EK, I sent Mink a message saying that we already there. Mink was there already with Davenport as early as 10am. Hahaha addicts!!! Anyway, we met each other, and for the first time, I was able to do one of the things that I wanted to do for the longest time. Introduce my Bebhe to my friends. Introductions were made and we started to stroll around the part. Nothing much was said but as the day progressed, I saw and felt that my friends made sure that my Bebhe felt welcome and my Bebhe, the ever charmer, made sure that he was not a killjoy all through out the day. What more can a guy ask for?

Altough we ended the day earlier than expected (Davenport got dizzy with the rides and everyone except for Bebhe and Mink got wet because of the jungle log jam and the rio grande rapids)We went home around 8pm. Of course this was after our little chit chat about sex, relationships, and more sex.

All in all, the day went great! Soak, cold, sleepy, tired,, but definitely happy. As the old folks say, "This one is for the books!"

"Magic is the bond between friends. Unseen yet Poweful." - Anon

Rekindling the Fire

Its been a while since I was here. As many of you know, I just came back from a well deserve rest from blogging. It did bring some bad issues along with it but what's really important is that I got my rest and now, fully energized, I'm back in the blogging world!

As many of you will say, its not that easy to get back on one's own feet. It takes time. And that's what I will just do. I will take time in going back to blogging to avoid burning out again.

So! What to write on this glorius Monday night? I know! Why not start with the rumor that went around about me closing my blog? Yup! That will be nice. I noticed that some of my blogmates speculated about the sudden decision I made of going private. Especially the words that I used in making the blogosphere know about it. So let me see... If I remember it correctly, Angelopaolo, my sisterhoods Kaizen and Turismoboi, shamasu, and Kapatid na Gripen,, too name a few, who made an assumption that I had a problem with my relationship with My Bebhe. and I understand where they're coming from! I mean for goodness sake! This blog is made for my Bebhe! If I were in their shoes, I will be thinking the same thing! Because I will be concerned for my well being. And I can feel that they feel the same way. So guys, THANK YOU!

So what is the real reason behind my abrupt disappearance. Well honestly, I just lost the fire of writing. I lost the drive. No that my relationship with Bebhe started to become dull and unintersting that I can't write anything about it. On the contrary, so much was happening that I can't get my wits together to write something about it. So instead of seeing my blog everyday and frustrating over not being able to write a thing, I went private. And I got more than what I bargained for! Not only was I able to rekindle the blogger in me, I also got my priorities straight and got to spend more time with my Bebhe. Isn't that great?!?

Lastly, and I just want to say this, thank you guys for all the support and loving that me and my Bebhe receive from you everday. We both appreciate it more than you think.




"Diamonds are rare and expensive but nothing compared to a true friend" - Anon

A Year At Last

Last October 28 we celebrated our first anniversary. And to commemorate our union, we made sure that we have enough time for each other on that very special day. Although most of our time was spent sleeping beside each other and arguing when we were awake, I can still say that all in all, that day was one of the happiest day of my life. Why, you might ask. What made my day at all when we don't seem to have done something special? All I can say is just being with my Bebhe makes that day worthwhile. Watching my Bebhe sleep and listen to his subtle snores that are like music to my ears. Those things, my friends, made my day. Because I believe that it was not the fancy food or the expensive suite or even the great sex will make that day memorable. A year or two from now, we will not remember where we had our first anniversary. Rather, we will remember how we cuddled each other. How we laugh at each other's recorded snores. And how we made it through a year.

To you my Bebhe, I love you.